Posted by Rohit Unnithan
Laws of Computer Programming
1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
2. Any given program costs more and takes longer.
3. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
4. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
5. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
6. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
7. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
Funny bone
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”
“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”
And now since I (hopefully!) have your attention….
Domain Tip of the day
For fellow JPMC’ians-
Types of banks
A Banks’ activities can be divided into –
Retail banking – dealing directly with individuals and small businesses
Business banking – providing services to mid-market business
Corporate banking – directed at large business entities
Private banking – providing wealth management services to high net worth individuals and families
Investment banking – relating to activities on the financial markets
Most banks are profit-making, private enterprises. However, some are owned by government, or are non-profit organizations.
Central banks are normally government-owned and charged with quasi-regulatory responsibilities, such as supervising commercial banks, or controlling the cash interest rate. They generally provide liquidity to the banking system and act as the lender of last resort in event of a crisis.
Types of retail banks
* Commercial bank: the term used for a normal bank to distinguish it from an investment bank. After the Great Depression, the U.S. Congress required that banks only
engage in banking activities, whereas investment banks were limited to capital market activities. Since the two no longer have to be under separate ownership, some use the term “commercial bank” to refer to a bank or a division of a bank that mostly deals with deposits and loans from corporations or large businesses.
* Community Banks: locally operated financial institutions that empower employees to make local decisions to serve their customers and the partners.
* Community development banks: regulated banks that provide financial services and credit to under-served markets or populations.
* Postal savings banks: savings banks associated with national postal systems.
* Private banks: banks that manage the assets of high net worth individuals.
* Offshore banks: banks located in jurisdictions with low taxation and regulation. Many offshore banks are essentially private banks.
* Savings bank: in Europe, savings banks take their roots in the 19th or sometimes even 18th century. Their original objective was to provide easily accessible savings
products to all strata of the population. In some countries, savings banks were created on public initiative; in others, socially committed individuals created foundations to put in place the necessary infrastructure. Nowadays, European savings banks have kept their focus on retail banking: payments, savings products, credits and insurances for individuals or small and medium-sized enterprises. Apart from this retail focus, they also differ from commercial banks by their broadly decentralised distribution network, providing local and regional outreach—and by their socially responsible approach to business and society.
* Building societies and Landesbanks: institutions that conduct retail banking.
* Ethical banks: banks that prioritize the transparency of all operations and make only what they consider to be socially-responsible investments.
* Islamic banks: Banks that transact according to Islamic principles.
Technical tip of the day
for fellow mainframers –
Does the ‘edit/view entry panel’ annoy you by ‘popping up’ whenever you try to edit/view a PS file? Have you wished you had a ‘pop-up blocker’ activated for the
edit/view entry panel?
When you try to open a PS file in edit/view mode, you get the Edit/View entry panel which allows you to specify Initial Macro, Profile Name, Format Name etc. It can be
annoying (if you generally don’t use the options available in the entry panel), because it presents another screen to be passed before you are taken to the edit or view session.
After entering the dataset name in option 3.4, in the DSLIST screen, select the ‘Options’ drop down and select ‘DSLIST Settings’.Deselect the ‘Display Edit/View entry
panel (*)’ option. Done.
Now, whenever you try to open a PS file in edit/view mode, you will be skipping the Edit/View entry panel and will be directly taken to the file contents.
You can revert back the setting by selecting the ‘Display Edit/View entry panel (*)’ option.
Quote
Good cooking takes times. If you are made to wait, it is to serve you better, and to please you.
– Menu of Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans
(Dont you ever blame me for slow programming!)